Showing posts with label Truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Truth. Show all posts

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Confessions

It is time for me to confess my real feelings about Stephen.

I am unsure if I could potentially have more than a friendship with him.
I'm a dyke and that's the way it's always been. I'm butch to make matters worse.
If I pursue my feelings for him, am I lying about myself?
I don't believe in bisexuality - it's confusing.
And I don't think I'm a gay guy, and Stephen would look that way with me.
Could he really even think about it?
As far as I'm concerned, I'm a dude- I look like one, I act like one, I even screw like one.
or is that what draws us together? - besides his great humor -
I could never tell him these thoughts, because there is still a Michelle in me. which reminds me - she has been coming out a lot lately.
Is it possible for a hardcore pussylicker as myself to entertain thoughts of denying her rainbow calling and pursue a penis - even a hilarious and fun one?
I'd like to say that it would be a refreshing change from all the estrogen in my life, but am I ready - is he ready - so soon after both of us just got out of serious relationships? I still have feelings for Kimi and he still has feelings for Andrea. Does this make what I feel a pity fuck (even though there is no fucking involved)?
I'm not lying when I say I really care for him, and that
I would be willing to pursue something. There are just these uncertainties about my physical appearance (like how I’m not that pretty of a girl with this short hair and small tits) that would make things difficult. If nothing comes of this I will be happy just being the great best friends that we are.