Broken Uterus


I left my position of manager and returned to working for the State Parks, in an office position this time.  I was super excited for it. I loved my job there last year, and I am/was looking forward to another season of travelers, wanderers, and wildlife.  The idea of going back for another season was one I had been playing with for a few months.  I know I don't enjoy managing. I didn't enjoy a 50 hour a week job, and I knew I could only do it for so long.

The big push came to switch jobs was in March.  In March, I visited my OBGYN because I have been having extreme pains right after ovulation for two years now. I mean, knock me on my ass pain.  He discovered that I have a tumor on my uterus.  Right now, it is not of a huge concern. It is small and not likely to be cancerous.  The issue with this thing is its potential to royally screw up my reproductive system. It's on the topmost part of my uterus where my Fallopian tube connects with my uterus.  Given time, this thing could grown enough that I would require surgery to remove it.  The newest surgery they can do for it, is to remove part of the wall.  That weakens my already weak chance of ever having children.  Reproducing is such a touchy subject with me. Having lost 3 kids already, I am not prepared to lose a 4th. I am not even ready to try again and its been 3 years since the last one.  But, we were going to try to conceive anyway. After some freaking out, my husband and I have just decided to just not have children yet. We have decided together that we do want children eventually, I'm like 10 years,  but we are not going to add more stress and potentially ruin me to do it.  When the time is right, we will foster or adopt or use a surrogate. It was a tough pull to swallow, but ultimately, this is probably the most responsible way to handle the situation.

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