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WELCOME TO MY PERSONAL BLOG|I WRITE ABOUT LIVING WITH BPD2|JUST BECAUSE I CAN

Adulting sucks


So I dropped out of college. I worked so hard to get back in, to pay off my debt, and to work my way out of probation, and I quit. I keep telling myself there wasn't any other option. I had to. I am the sole financial support of my family and we were on the verge of losing what little we had to lose.

Well, we lost it anyway. I went back to work as a manager. And my husband quit his job. I'm putting 50 plus hours in during a week. I justified quitting school and going back to work as there were no other financial options. I was skipping school as it was because I didn't have money to eat on or the gas to get there. I keep telling myself that I was wasting $20k a year on a degree I can go out and get a job for without. I was a management major, and I am a manager. Of a Subway. Not my ultimate career goals when I went into the management field. I was think more along the lines of in an office or a department or a large company. Not running a restaurant for someone else, that after taxes and health insurance, my checks are equal to what my full time minimum wage employees make. 

Yes, I finally got my bills paid up, but as I said, I already had my car repossessed. I don't own anything else, except a 15 year old cavalier and a $50 cell phone. I live with my in-laws and all my personal possessions are in and have been in a storage locker that has been on the verge of being sold several times in the last year.

So I'm really bummed out right now with the lack of spousal support I'm receiving as well. Tomorrow is the last day to register for classes. I was prepared to take part time online classes and pay out of pocket, on a payment plan. I make the money now to where splitting 1k over 3 months won't hurt too bad, just cuts a lot of pointless spending out. But I was told I was jumping into it again, that I wasn't ready to do one class and a full time job, and that it wasn't a smart thing to do. 

At this point, I'll never finish the degree that I've wanted for 10 years. I'm gonna keep tolling away at overworked and underpaid positions for eternity.

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