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Showing posts from 2015

Sun and Corn

Taking some advice from my therapist about all the time I spend with my husband, she claims we spend an abnormal amount of time together for a married couple, as in every single minute of the day when I am not at school and he’s not at work, while not necessarily bad in and of itself, just that we don’t do anything other than sit in a 10 by 12 room with each other. So, may have taken my therapist’s advice too literally, and am currently on a six day trip not with Brian.  So today s day one on my vacation from my life.  I’m kind of viewing it that way.  Running from my life fixes none of its problems and is a totally unhealthy way to deal.  Yes, I know. I just don’t care. It’s either this crazy spontaneous trip across the country or go a little more crazy each day until I finally jump off the deep end into full on crazy. SO here’s to me, getting out of my comfort zone, finally standing up to my husband, doing something without a plan, and shedding a little bit of my personal armor.

Wringer

Today was my second session with my new therapist, and I kind of feel like a failure. I am not sure what I expected therapy for my Biopolar Disorder to be like, and how to proceed with it all. She asked about my goals and what I'd like to work on to help with coping mechanisms and what not. 

Goals

Five short terms goals for myself:

1. Move out
2. Go out on a friend date
3. Win an argument with my husband
4. Go to bed at a decent hour, continuously
5. Quit smoking again


Diagnosis

First off, a couple of months ago, I made an appointment to be screened for depression. Well, I kinda already knew the outcome. I know I suffer from depression. Not so surprisingly, after the first appointment yesterday, the psychologist diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder, Type II.  And I've agreed to weekly sessions with her to find coping mechanisms for the next three months. And she recommended I go see the psychiatrist to explore medications, but that appointment isn't for another 6 weeks. So there's that.

In other medical drama in the life of Mico, I finally received the results from the biopsies done on my leg back in May. The area isn't cancerous. That's good. But due to the unusual nature of the cells, my dermatologist decided it would best to remove my birthmark. So I have been referred to a plastic surgeon later in this month.  The spot is too large and too deep for my dermatologist to remove, plus I believe the surgeon will try to minimize the scarring …

Kisses

I get annoyed that my husband only kisses me deeply and with an open mouth when it's time for sex.  And sometimes not even then. I like kisses for the sake of kisses.

I am a Liar.

I lie. I lie about unimportant things. I don't know why I do this. I even catch myself as I am doing it, and I ask myself why I just lied about that.  For example, I once told my sister-in-law that I wore one size larger in bras than I really do.  Why is that important that she think I have a bigger rack than I obviously posses? It's things that don't even matter. No one is going to judge me if I say I only had 2 pieces of the pizza instead of three. No one really cares that my car get 3 less mpg than what I tell them.  My family isn't going to think differently about my husband that he starts work this week rather than last.  I don't know why I do these simple small lies and it's difficult to keep up with the ones I do tell and to whom.  Maybe it's an underlying fear of not being good enough or wanting to present a better face than I have. What difference does it make that I have been married only  8 years versus the ten I tell people. Or how about I'm…

Social Media

With it being so easy to be everywhere on the internet these days, I find myself sharing only parts of myself on certain platforms.  I am very aware of what I post and where. Let me give you a breakdown of my social platforms and how I approach them,

Let's start with the biggest and easiest: Facebook.  Everyone has one, so do I. I spend a lot of time constantly refreshing my news feed hoping to find something interesting.  I'm not a friend whore. I carefully select who I am friends with on Facebook, which is why I have a grand total of 80+ friends, 75 of which I could still care less about.  Facebook is my main face to the world and my friends and family. I never post anything negative there. I rarely post anything personal. I never comment on anything. I life people's family pictures, and pictures of their accomplishments because people need validation and I am happy to give it to them in the form of a like.  Unfortunately, my parents and my siblings are the one I interac…

Summer 2015

Hello there my little pumpkins. It has been some time since I've written anything useful or meaningful, but I feel a cursory update is in need.

First off, I meal prepped all of Spring Semester 2015. I lost 25 lbs in those four months just with the meal prepping and the exercise. I kind of got out of the habit of meal prepping and exercise during the last month of school due to finals, stress, my husband finally graduated with his dual bachelor's degree.

Good news though, I took two months off from it, but didn't gain any of the weight back.  I also didn't eat like I used to either, having learned correct portion control.  Now, I am back on the horse, so to speak. Since my financial situation hasn't improved since January, having anything to eat is more of the concern than cooking special meals. But, all things considered, I have taken up trail running or cross country, or whatever people call it. Since I work for the DNR at a state park, I am pretty much outside al…

Brian's Graduating College

Seeing that we are less two weeks away from graduation and Brian hasn't said anything yet, I am going too. 

Now, my dear husband is graduating from Marshall on May 9th at 9:00am at the Big Sandy Arena. Consider this an open invitation to all our friends and family. We bought and I even wrote out fancy invitations, but time is short, so this is what we have. Tickets are not needed to get in, but it is recommened to arrive early to get a seat.

And now important braggy stuff. I am super proud of him. He is graduating with a dual degree in Sociology and German. He is also graduating with Honors in German. So awesome! Not only that but he also has been awarded a Who's Who in American Colleges award for students who excel in service leadership. And....! He also has been selected for the President of the Year Award for his excellent leadership of the German Club. The awards ceremony is Friday May 1st, and close family are invited. (It's a formal affair. Tie required).

But wait there…

2015 Aspirations

January rolled around and I needed to change my life. I've worked hard for years and I felt like I was just spinning my wheels.  I was horribly depressed, I was gaining weight like crazy, I was doing subpar work at my job, and I was super lonely.

So, I changed it all.  I am no where near where I want to be in my life, but now I have a plan.  I am striving for progress everyday, instead of expecting instant results.

First and foremost, I was unhappy with my weight.  Since I quit smoking in 2013, I have gained 45 pounds and I am just not happy with it.  Quite frankly it was really starting to affect my husband's and my intimate relationship and that did not sit well with me.  Not only is that a problem, but the general unhealthiness that I was living was awful.  I constantly obsessed about food.  I could put away half a large pizza and then half a tub of ice cream.  I didn't really do more than go to class, go to work, and go to sleep.  Even though I now had weekends off, I …

21 Days and I Feel Fine!

I am three weeks into my new lifestyle and I'd like to share my adventure in meal prepping this past Sunday.  I have been pre-making breakfast, lunch, andd my snacks for three weeks now.  It's kind of addicting.   This week I am having red potatoes, grilled chicken, blanched green beans, and some long grain wild rice.




One of my favorite parts of meal prepping is all the cutting, dicing, and cleaning.  And the colors.  I love how colorful all of the veggies and fruits are.
This week, I chopped 3 pounds of red potatoes, and roasted them on 400 for an hour.  I seasoned them with some lemon pepper.  The ones on the bottom became nice and crunchy and the top ones are really silky.  I also cooked 2.5 pounds of green beans.  I cleaned them and trimmed the tips.  I didn't go all out on the green beans this week.  I blanched them in boiling water for 10 minutes.  They are still firm and a really bright green.  I learned my lesson last week with soggy green beans. Ick.  The green b…