Showing posts with label High School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label High School. Show all posts

Thursday, October 6, 2005

Senior Year



Well, It's a new year and I find myself hating school as bad as ever and I'm not really digging my life either. Okay, it's Thursday afternoon, and I'm sitting in a godforsaken library in Hamlin with a bunch of old ladies who smell like adult diapers. O.o
Anyways...I'm really disliking school. I go for 3 hours. woo. I thought it would be great to have co-op...go to 4 classes then leave. Well, I hate my job, too. Well, it's not that bad, I just hate having to drive to Hamlin everyday just for a lousy 5.25 and hour. -.- School really sucks. There is no way I can possibly get out of AP lit. No way. General Barnett is so out to get me. She is trying every way possible to get me thrown out for my tardiness. ah..hem...I have no been on time but once this year, but it is still not her place to hunt me down and try to turn me in for truancy. Anyways, that's for skipping school. I go to school. I get there in the middle of first, but it is still not her business because she is my third period teacher. We had nominations for miss wildcat today. hooray. I was thinking of running, but Sandy fucked up the whole process. they just made a list of senior girls and we had to vote for someone. what a load of shit. And we don't even have class officers. grr... this school year has gone to crap. the only good thing is there are only 6 people in yearbook class. thank god.

Well, I’ve rattled and lost my train of thought...dammit.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Confusion

I'm really confused right now...

Kimi and I broke up, yes? Okay, why do I feel so jealous when she wanted to ask Michael out? Jealous? Why? Why did I stop her? Why did I ask her back out? Why? I don't want to be with her! I have gotten myself into some shit. I really care for her, but we are not meant to be at all. And especially lately. Why??? WHY? WHY?!
I just want to smack myself for being so double sided. I make myself angry! I don't want her to date other people? Why should I have any say so in that if we are broke up? I'm just so angry at myself. I want someone else that is not her! Which leads me to my other problem...am I gay or am I straight? I had this dilemma back in June...same person...so angry...so confused...I feel like hitting something, and crying all at once...confused...might as well give it up and sleep in the bed that I made for myself...

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Issue Rundown

what to write???

I thought about an update on all my "issues" but that would be boring...

But, what else is there to do???

Issues #1) Gay Life
Nothing to update here...except I saw this cool bumper sticker at hot topic that said "Straight?? So are spaghetti noodles until they are heated up?" LOL.
Megan made a joke today. She said she tried to use it on me, but it didn't work...lol

Issue #2) Trans Life
Nothing much here. I've basically gave up on the whole idea, except for the way I dress. It's nothing big anymore. My family calls me Jai and he and shit, so it's no big deal...kind of boring now...oh well...

Issue #3) Family
Family is coming over Saturday for dinner...I hate my family. Last time we had a family get together, they told there disowned me because I hate Christians and am afraid of bibles and crosses, and because I’m a witch...always a lovely experience with my family.

Issue #4) My Birthday
15 days away!! I still hate it.

Issue #5) Jeep problem
I'm not getting one no matter what I do.

Issue #6) Driving problem
It's been more than a month since I got my license and I still can't drive. I hate it too.

Issue #7) Friends
Um...The only people I've talked to since the break was Chad, Buchii, and Andy. I was debating on having a b-day party and inviting my friends...but no one would show, so I've gave up hope on my friends.

Saturday, September 4, 2004

Beginning of Junior Year

so school is hard this year.
In AP English, We have to read 5 chapter every night. That gets tiresome, especially when I am working from when I get in to dark on the house and my car. tiresome...

AP Calculus is a joke! The moist advanced class at Guyan Valley and all we do in there is color Tiki Men. ha!

So...I'm the Editor of the yearbook, s\no problem and great for my transcript. There are 5 seniors in that class. Two of them are editor and one of them have been in it since 10th grade. That one is very pissed at me b/c I’m editor and it's only my second year and editor is supposed to go to a senior. She cussed me out today because I made a list of themes and gave them to the class, edited some proofs, and graded planners. Grr. It's for my grade anyways. pisses me off because she won't respect the fact that I work a lot harder than she does and I got it and not her. :-P so screw her. if she doesn't like, I’ll just not turn in a grade for her.

Physics is cool.

Speech sucks, but it's just another class.

Art is cool, except that I’m in there with a bunch of 9th/10th graders...

so...I got kit on by 3 guys this week...well in one day. "Brandon" (I blew him many years ago and he can't accept the fact that I’m gay...)He sat with me on the bus and noticed how my tits had disappeared...I said I know. he asked if I wanted to meet him anywhere later...I said that's kind of gay... and I got off the bus...

Then this guy I used to be fuck buddies with but never dated came over and brought a friend...lol like that was going to happen...

What I can't understand is other than the fact they still try to get in my pants even though I look nothing like the girl they liked and I've been an out lesbian for years...confusing.

So.....I've been having these sleeping problems lately...two days this week I feel asleep while I was doing something. The first day I was lying on the floor playing with Viktor with a squeaky mouse thing and feel asleep on the floor. The second day yesterday, I was lying on the couch in my room drying Viktor off from his bath and I feel asleep and slept until this morning. I was even late for school. It's kind of scaring me b/c Mom does that all the time b/c her blood sugar is all fucked up. I don't want to be like my mom falling asleep while driving and talking. Just yesterday (I heard about this morning from DeeDee) that Mom fell asleep while sitting on the porch talking to our neighbors. scares me.

My arthritis in my right hand has been acting up all week. I think it is from holding a pencil so much. I can't hold small things. my hands have been so stiff and sore..

Damn I have a lot of medical problems...fucked up blood, fucked up liver, fucked up kidneys, fucked up hands, fucked up brain, I’m just screwed...it's a wonder I dun have aids or something...but that
is another story.

SO...