Adulting sucks

So I dropped out of college. I worked so hard to get back in, to pay off my debt, and to work my way out of probation, and I quit. I keep telling myself there wasn't any other option. I had to. I am the sole financial support of my family and we were on the verge of losing what little we had to lose.

Wringer

Today was my second session with my new therapist, and I kind of feel like a failure. I am not sure what I expected therapy for my Biopolar Disorder to be like, and how to proceed with it all. She asked about my goals and what I'd like to work on to help with coping mechanisms and what not. 

Brian's Graduating College

Seeing that we are less two weeks away from graduation and Brian hasn't said anything yet, I am going too. 

Now, my dear husband is graduating from Marshall on May 9th at 9:00am at the Big Sandy Arena. Consider this an open invitation to all our friends and family. We bought and I even wrote out fancy invitations, but time is short, so this is what we have. Tickets are not needed to get in, but it is recommened to arrive early to get a seat.

And now important braggy stuff. I am super proud of him. He is graduating with a dual degree in Sociology and German. He is also graduating with Honors in German. So awesome! Not only that but he also has been awarded a Who's Who in American Colleges award for students who excel in service leadership. And....! He also has been selected for the President of the Year Award for his excellent leadership of the German Club. The awards ceremony is Friday May 1st, and close family are invited. (It's a formal affair. Tie required).

But wait there's more! He has finally made the decision of what he is going to do with those degrees. Graduate school. Lol. He has decided to pursue teaching language and sociology, but at the collegiate level, and thus needs a masters/PhD. But, while he is in grad school, he will be teaching undergrads. That is all, for now.

I swear that's all for now guys. Hopefully we'll see some of y'all at the ceremony. Inbox me if you need directions, times, attire, etc.

College Woes

Well, this school thing might work out and it might now. I had so many aspirations for college, planned for since grade school, always secretly smart, did lots of extracurriculars (even though they weren't that honorable...y6earbook, raze, hats, softball, band...and I sucked at all of them), got great test scores. Planned fo cllege real well, made sure my parents didn'tmake too much money or financial aid, got 2 great cholarships...one 12,500 dollars. Ad what Do I do with this well thought out event in life? I screw it up, like I do every thing else. I decided no o go to my dream school in Shepherdstown, the one I shoveddwn my parent's throats, made them visit at least 3 times, and itbeing 8 hours away, and th on I got the 12500 dollars scholarship to, I passed drumline auditions and as going to be on oneof the greatest drumlines ever, hadt set up to graduate in three years...Guezz I fucked that one up. 2 weeks before classes start I decide to go to Marshall to "stay with Steve". They have nothing on me there, none of my previos college grades, too late to do band, too late to get ay scholarshipsother than promise. To late. I hate that School. I swore up andDown I woldnot go, nomatter what. Well, I'm still here. Back o the story, went to classesfor about 3 months, quit going in October, failed them all. Got kicked out for the spring on accident. They didn't calculate the4.0 I had from my other college. That would've savd me. So now I am going to summer school to jus catch up on that fal semester. I am still a freshman to beat itall. I wanted to succeed. I always let others inadvertantly decide wha I am going to do with mylife. I am an Acounting major because Journalism was a valid major for my parents, The Pay didn't justify the cost of college. I didn't go t my colege because I decided not to due to Steve's lac of intelligence, and Marshall and Concord were the only places he got accepted to. I just feel that my life is run by others. I never think about what is good for me, what good for us or what's best for them. It's a bad habit, I know. But I'm actually a caring person like that. I would give a random stranger my kidneys without thinking of the consequences. I never think. And I can't say no. I'm just nice like that.

Save the Tacos

I find simple joys in life. I will tell you today's story. I was pulling into the garage to park my car, so Steve could go to class. I say to him "I think it's going to rain." This is about 5:50 this afternoon. I grab my waterproof jacket as I get out of my car. I don't think Steve understood me when I told him that it was raining, or he was spaced out, like he does. Anyways, we get to the bottom of the garage and it's raining out. Steve is holding our bag of tacos we had just bought at taco bell. well, it's not rainign hard. we dart across traffic cause I had spaed out crossing the street, and was standing there talking to Steve in the middle of Third Avenue. So, we run over to one of the dorms that has a porch. It's raining like crazy now. Steve makes me put my laptop in his bookbag so it doesn't get wet, because my bookbag is fishnet and has holes in it. Steve is still holding our bag of tacos. I put them under my jacket. My belly was really warm. We walk as fast as we could to the student center. By the time we get there, we are soaked. I am wearing pink pants, and you could totally see my underwear through them. lol. We get under the ledge and shake off to dry a bit. I unzip my jacket and there are the tacos. All i could say was "At least the tacos are dry." Lol. It made my day.