Explanation

Why a seperate blog from my normal blog you ask? Well, I am a compartmentalized person. I feel that the following and feel I have for my self-named blog is too happy to be brought down to the level that this blog will entail.

This is a personal blog. Here I share my inner thoughts and feelings.  The biggest purpose of this blog is to help myself understand my own head and to help me through some of my depression. I have fought with depression since I was 14 and journaling has always helped me put a face to some of my own thoughts and feelings without the fear of those closest to me finding out.  

I am delusional when I say am self-aware.  I know I am not. I put on a happy face for my husband, my family, my friends, my co-workers. And it's exhausting. Sometimes I just want to scream my feelings at them, but no one likes a Debbie-downer, and let's be honest. Who cares about other peoples problems in this day and age?  

Anyway, I've always felt the safety of strangers knowing my problems to be less stressful than those closest to me.  I don't have to pretend that everything is fine. They don't have a preconceived notion of who I am, and the judgement of strangers is acutely accurate compared to those biased in "love".

So here it is, dear internet. Maybe I'll figure out who I am and what I want through writing.  

Just a Little Help

Here's where I am in life right now. Job accepted at a bigger park. 1.5 hour communte, like 60 miles away. $10 an hour. I did the math,...