aspects

Social Media

7/29/2015

With it being so easy to be everywhere on the internet these days, I find myself sharing only parts of myself on certain platforms.  I am very aware of what I post and where. Let me give you a breakdown of my social platforms and how I approach them,

Let's start with the biggest and easiest: Facebook.  Everyone has one, so do I. I spend a lot of time constantly refreshing my news feed hoping to find something interesting.  I'm not a friend whore. I carefully select who I am friends with on Facebook, which is why I have a grand total of 80+ friends, 75 of which I could still care less about.  Facebook is my main face to the world and my friends and family. I never post anything negative there. I rarely post anything personal. I never comment on anything. I life people's family pictures, and pictures of their accomplishments because people need validation and I am happy to give it to them in the form of a like.  Unfortunately, my parents and my siblings are the one I interact with the most of Facebook.  My mother has a negative comment for everything. She doesn't realize that she never says anything nice. It's just her way. I have all her posts blocked from my feed; I figured if I want to have a relationship with my mother, her rantings on political issues, and everyone's general stupidity, would best be something that I don't want to see. Considering we have opposing political beliefs, this is easier than fighting.  My husband actually hates facebook, but he does have notifications turned on so he is notified every time I post anything. It's a little unnerving knowing he will read everything. It's like I am seeking his approval for my posts. There have been several instances where I have deleted posts, pictures, and comments because he did not approve of them.  I'd like to say I delete them out of respect for him and his opinions, which is only half true, but mostly I fear I resent him for it. I feel that I have to ask permission to post things, so mostly I don't bother unless it's something I believe he won't take issue with. Between those two, facebook is just a list of pretty pictures from my job at the park and the random tag from family members when they post funnies to my page.

Onto my next biggest social platform: Pinterest. It's my safety. I feel it's where I can hide safely behind my boards.  I post freely on Pinterest. I am safe from anyone I actually know, with the exception of one of my sisters.  If my media accounts were reflective of who I am, I would say Pinterest is the most accurate reflection of what I think, do, and like. I share my humor in my funnies. I share my love of television and it's characters without feeling stupid. I share deep emotional thoughts through quotes. I share my love of exercise and physical activities.  I don't have to use words. I don't have to talk to anyone. The pictures do all the work for me.

Another: Twitter.  Twitter's nice. I used to rant and rave and go on about how stupid things are there. I use it to share little day-to-day updates that I refuse or am not allowed to share on Facebook. Like that I am happy when my husband gets a call for a job interview, or I feel particularly strong about an episode of one of my shows, or how I feel about a particular part of a book. I all surface level bullshit to be honest. I mainly use it to stalk celebrities.

And then I have an Instagram. I have one, I only use it rarely, but mostly it's so I can share pictures from my job across all of my platforms at once. I also use it to post random, non-facebook worthy pictures, such as the inside of a ferries wheel or an interesting cloud formation. I'm not very active there.

I view my social media accounts as possibly the beginnings of multiple personality disorder. Each one has it's purpose and it's own face of who I am.  Honestly though, they are only parts of me and only parts of me that I am willing to share. I still keep a lot of who I am off social media.  I don't want to go to a job interview one day, and the interviewer looked up my facebook or twitter and found that I was arguing with my mother or that I don't hold conventionally accepted religious beliefs.
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exercising

Summer 2015

7/18/2015

Hello there my little pumpkins. It has been some time since I've written anything useful or meaningful, but I feel a cursory update is in need.

First off, I meal prepped all of Spring Semester 2015. I lost 25 lbs in those four months just with the meal prepping and the exercise. I kind of got out of the habit of meal prepping and exercise during the last month of school due to finals, stress, my husband finally graduated with his dual bachelor's degree.

Good news though, I took two months off from it, but didn't gain any of the weight back.  I also didn't eat like I used to either, having learned correct portion control.  Now, I am back on the horse, so to speak. Since my financial situation hasn't improved since January, having anything to eat is more of the concern than cooking special meals. But, all things considered, I have taken up trail running or cross country, or whatever people call it. Since I work for the DNR at a state park, I am pretty much outside all day long. I know the people here, and I know this park now. So, I am not afraid to be out there by myself anymore.

Speaking of which, I have dropped my husband as an exercise partner. He did it first when he found someone else that was more interested in his style of exercise. So, being partnerless, I have decided I am just going to get over my absurd co-dependency and do what I want, how I want to. At least when it comes to an exercise routine. I have set myself a goal. I want to run Tough Mudder next summer, and several other obstacle type races.  I have already agreed to volunteer in Pittsburgh in August, so that'll give me a taste of what it's like.

I took this job at the DNR to get outside of my own comfort zone, and to actually have a memorable summer. Well, so far, it has rained for a month a half. It kinda sucks when you work outside. But, mission accomplished. It's been memorable.
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.

1-800-273-8255

If You Need Help

We all need a little help from time to time.

There are people out there to help you. There are many organizations designed to help with mental illness.

The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
Always Keep Fighting Campaigns
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Project Semicolon
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

If you are too shy to talk to any of these groups, you can always reach out to me via any of my social media accounts at the top of the page. If you've read my blog, you know I've been there, and I will probably be there again.
You are not alone and you are worthy.