College Woes

5/11/2007

Well, this school thing might work out and it might now. I had so many aspirations for college, planned for since grade school, always secretly smart, did lots of extracurriculars (even though they weren't that honorable...y6earbook, raze, hats, softball, band...and I sucked at all of them), got great test scores. Planned fo cllege real well, made sure my parents didn'tmake too much money or financial aid, got 2 great cholarships...one 12,500 dollars. Ad what Do I do with this well thought out event in life? I screw it up, like I do every thing else. I decided no o go to my dream school in Shepherdstown, the one I shoveddwn my parent's throats, made them visit at least 3 times, and itbeing 8 hours away, and th on I got the 12500 dollars scholarship to, I passed drumline auditions and as going to be on oneof the greatest drumlines ever, hadt set up to graduate in three years...Guezz I fucked that one up. 2 weeks before classes start I decide to go to Marshall to "stay with Steve". They have nothing on me there, none of my previos college grades, too late to do band, too late to get ay scholarshipsother than promise. To late. I hate that School. I swore up andDown I woldnot go, nomatter what. Well, I'm still here. Back o the story, went to classesfor about 3 months, quit going in October, failed them all. Got kicked out for the spring on accident. They didn't calculate the4.0 I had from my other college. That would've savd me. So now I am going to summer school to jus catch up on that fal semester. I am still a freshman to beat itall. I wanted to succeed. I always let others inadvertantly decide wha I am going to do with mylife. I am an Acounting major because Journalism was a valid major for my parents, The Pay didn't justify the cost of college. I didn't go t my colege because I decided not to due to Steve's lac of intelligence, and Marshall and Concord were the only places he got accepted to. I just feel that my life is run by others. I never think about what is good for me, what good for us or what's best for them. It's a bad habit, I know. But I'm actually a caring person like that. I would give a random stranger my kidneys without thinking of the consequences. I never think. And I can't say no. I'm just nice like that.

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