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WELCOME TO MY PERSONAL BLOG|I WRITE ABOUT LIVING WITH BPD2|JUST BECAUSE I CAN

Confusion

I'm really confused right now...

Kimi and I broke up, yes? Okay, why do I feel so jealous when she wanted to ask Michael out? Jealous? Why? Why did I stop her? Why did I ask her back out? Why? I don't want to be with her! I have gotten myself into some shit. I really care for her, but we are not meant to be at all. And especially lately. Why??? WHY? WHY?!
I just want to smack myself for being so double sided. I make myself angry! I don't want her to date other people? Why should I have any say so in that if we are broke up? I'm just so angry at myself. I want someone else that is not her! Which leads me to my other problem...am I gay or am I straight? I had this dilemma back in June...same person...so angry...so confused...I feel like hitting something, and crying all at once...confused...might as well give it up and sleep in the bed that I made for myself...

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