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Dealing with Death

Dealing with death or impending death of a loved one while also dealing with your own mind can be it's own special kind of torment.


Recent posts

Silence

I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts (and sometimes actions) for 16 years now. It's not a widely known issue for me. I tend to keep all this bottled up and then sometimes posted on this blog, never on my social media accounts.

The Misadventures of Going Into Business with Family

One big life goal of mine is to own my own business. A legit brick and mortar shop shop.

Mission accomplished. I went into business with my mother and opened a local home decor shop. And it's been one big horrible mistake.

The Itch

I have this itch in my brain or under my skin. It's hard to place. It's unsettling. I've felt it before, usually when I'm about to do something stupid, make a poor decision, or in general do something I know will hurt my life goals. This itch, it's like a thought, or a feeling. It always is whispering to me. Its not very nice. It makes me question what I want in life. It makes me ask myself, am I happy? do I enjoy where my life is? Do I enjoy the people in my life? This itch, it's an evil thing. It comes about every so often. It forces me to change jobs, question my marriage, and distance myself from my family. I fight it. I hate it. This thing that tells me that I'm better off alone. I'm better off if I leave it all behind. It tells me to run. to get into my car and never come back. This itch, it fights against what my life is. It tells me things can be better. That I can go where I want, and do what I want, be what I want. It tells me these lies. and …

End of Summer

It is that time of year again, the end of the summer.

My summer was actually good. I enjoyed another season working for the park. The job itsself wasn't as fun as last year, because I was in the office this year. I missed the sunshine and I missed being able to roam about the park. But, overall it was swell.  I am being kept beyond Labor Day, which is a good thing, I'll take part time work over no work. What made the summer better was that my husband was also hired at the park as the naturalist. He was the guy entertaining the thousands of guests we have

Broken Uterus

I left my position of manager and returned to working for the State Parks, in an office position this time.  I was super excited for it. I loved my job there last year, and I am/was looking forward to another season of travelers, wanderers, and wildlife.  The idea of going back for another season was one I had been playing with for a few months.  I know I don't enjoy managing. I didn't enjoy a 50 hour a week job, and I knew I could only do it for so long.